Co to je?

“Co to je?” is Czech for, “What is this?” It can be questioning or critical, but here it’s usually some combination of the two. “The Faux Canuck” is the chronicle of an American asking, “Co to je?” about restaurants, food, and food culture in Toronto, Canada.

My goals:

  • Learn about food in Toronto by talking to people, eating out, and grocery shopping.
  • Explore “Restaurant Theory” through stories both real and imagined.
  • Work in as many kitchens and restaurants as will let me (both professional and amateur).
  • Create a pop-up, Toronto themed, restaurant.
  • Entertain using facts, hyperbole, real stories, poetry, and fiction.

Questions? Leave a comment and ask, “Co to je?”


First I wanted to write about Canadian food in general.

Then I wanted to focus on Toronto restaurants.

Then I wanted to work through my personal issues through the context of food (Eat, Pray, Yada, Yada).

Then I wanted to create a high-concept pop-up restaurant.

Then I wanted to tell stories about fictional restaurants, including creating real recipes for them.

My solution was to do a little bit of each and make a blog that reads like a “Choose Your Own Adventure” novel.

Like a menu in a restaurant, a CYOA story allows you to pick and chose what interests you. You can do a full tasting menu, or just pop in to use the bathroom.

All these stories are connected, but they also exist separately. Story branches will be regularly updated in no particular order. When you get to the bottom of a post you can decide to continue with a particular storyline, change direction, OR CLICK THROUGH TO CERTAIN DOOM!!

Give it a try:

Here are curated paths that can be read by following similarly colored links:


Or, just read it in reverse chronological order below…


It Figures, or Why Do People Open Restaurants? (pt. 2)

In academia, textbooks are considered tertiary sources. But my gut tells me that most people read them as primary sources. It’s part of the process of maintaining and exerting authority. While reading through textbooks, some things are left understood, when they shouldn’t be. While it can be difficult for a book to stop at every …

Why Do People Open Restaurants? (pt. 1)

A few years ago I purchased a textbook about the restaurant business. I’m a bit of a nerd, and I was curious. I’m in the middle of reading chapter one, and I’ve already come across an issue. It’s the following quote: “The restaurant is a potential money factory.”