Ketchup Popcorn

One of the more unusual associations with Canada is ketchup. Ketchup chips lead the way obviously, but for whatever reason, ketchup has bled through to become a part of the Canadian national identity.

Now that there’s a burgeoning trade war with the States, Heinz is no longer the gold standard, but the villain. Suddenly where Canadians source their ketchup has become a matter of patriotism.

Via @KetchupPatriot

If in Canada, and you need ketchup, as of July 1st (Canada Day no less) the best way to go is Primo.

This seems oddly reminiscent of when the US had a falling out with France in 2003 because they wouldn’t back the U.S. lead war in Iraq. In retaliation, the U.S. House of Representatives’ cafeterias started serving “freedom fries” instead of the “French” ones.

That was a dumb move (the war that is).

I, on the other hand, have tried to blend in with the natives.

Not only do I eat their ketchup chips, and heartily endorse the local tomato dressing brand of choice, I have bought into the whole Canadian ethos by purchasing Canadian, popcorn seasoning salts at my local Canadian market.

As I strolled through the aisles of the Loblaws, I met a stunning Canadian woman who offered to show me what two people could do with some ketchup powder, and a cob full of popcorn…

via GIPHY and the “Horror Classic” “Troll 2

She shouted “VIVA CANADA!” as she suffocated my American ass under a ridiculous pile of popcorn! DEAD! Go back to the start, and accept Primo Ketchup as your new “Freedom Fry” topping!


Ketchup Death Senryu

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