The 107 Facts

When it comes to “Restaurant Theory” what I’ve laid out so far are largely a bunch of disconnected ideas.

– Restaurants are human building subcontractors.
– Restaurant waiters are the “Mentor” in the customer’s monomyth.
– Restaurants require minimum amounts of dookie pots.
– Restaurant textbooks are full of information but still lack information.

At this point, it’s a lot of ideas with no structure. I’m a rambling drunk in the corner of the bar eating pickled eggs and telling you it’s caviar.

I have a partial solution.

In December of 2015, my life was teetering between okay and massively-terrible (the story of my life: 2014 – 2017). As a result, I spent a lot of time on Tumblr. I technically still am, but at that point, I was posting quite regularly. It was my escape. That’s when I got an idea and wrote the following:

“107 Facts I Have Learned About Restaurants
By Working In Them.”

With “227 notes” on Tumblr it’s probably the most successful thing I’ve ever written. Not spectacular, but it was cathartic to have total strangers support something I wrote. Even a little.

Some of this list is bitterness. Some of it is frustration. Some of it is designed to be funny. But, I think a lot of it is real.

It even spurred one person to go through and make a point by point review of each “fact.” Some they outright disagreed with, much they declared should be labeled “opinion,” but overall they seemed to agree with its spirit.

Maybe this list is the proper backbone for my rambling theory? Maybe.


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