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The Faux Canuck

The Faux Canuck

A Food Journey Through Toronto, Canada

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Category: Restaurant Theory

Posted on July 6, 2018July 6, 2018

Chapter 1 (pt.1) Senryu

One. Build restaurant.
Two. Tell people you built it.
Three. Spend money well. Continue reading “Chapter 1 (pt.1) Senryu”

Posted on July 5, 2018July 9, 2018

Textbook as Playbook

Soon after landing in Toronto my hosts Pat and Kelly put together a dinner with their friend Dan, who I’d met years back. It just so happens that Dan is a contractor who often works at building restaurants. Continue reading “Textbook as Playbook”

Posted on June 23, 2018July 5, 2018

The Hero’s Senryu

She’s cold and hungry.
I’m the bringer of dinner.
A happy ending? Continue reading “The Hero’s Senryu”

Posted on June 23, 2018July 8, 2018

It Came From the Cheesecake Factory

I made all my best mistakes at my first restaurant job, The Hard Rock Cafe. It was my foundation. My rock? But the place that first taught me how to “restaurant” was the Cheesecake Factory.

I don’t know that I’ve ever worked in a place with such an accurately descriptive name. It is a factory.
Continue reading “It Came From the Cheesecake Factory”

Posted on June 22, 2018July 7, 2018

Tasty White Lies?

The Toronto mix.
Visible Minority?
The Majority. Continue reading “Tasty White Lies?”

Posted on June 22, 2018July 7, 2018

Lots in Toronto: One Lune

Seventeen thousand?
More than that!
Lots of restaurants. Continue reading “Lots in Toronto: One Lune”

Posted on June 22, 2018July 9, 2018

Restaurant Theory Senryu

People eating out:
Every angle examined.
Answers are complex. Continue reading “Restaurant Theory Senryu”

Posted on June 22, 2018July 9, 2018

A Coq Pie Recipe Tanka

Chicken. Garlic. Stock.
Butter. Flour. Mushrooms. Thyme.
Tomato paste. Wine.
Bay leaf. Whiskey. Onion. Cook!
Ladle on chips. Herb salad.


Continue reading “A Coq Pie Recipe Tanka”

Posted on March 27, 2018July 9, 2018

I am a “Coq Pie”

If you were to sum me up in a dish, it would be something I call, “Coq Pie.” I call it that because it sounds dirty, and because it’s a high-low marriage of Coq Au Vin and Frito Pie. Continue reading “I am a “Coq Pie””

Posted on March 27, 2018July 9, 2018

“Restaurant Theory”: We Are All Food in the End

What is “Restaurant Theory”?

Think of everything that goes into a building. There is the science and art of architecture. Electrical work. Plumbers. Carpenters. Interior decorators. Then there are things like building codes and mortgages. Every floor you stand on is a complicated tangle of art, business, science, and craft. Continue reading ““Restaurant Theory”: We Are All Food in the End”

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  • Haiku, Senryu, Tanka, Lunes
  • Co to je?

Random dishes

  • To Serve People? “Burgers.” (2)
  • A Coq Pie Recipe Tanka
  • F*ck, That’s Depressing
  • Former Secretary of State James Baker and the White Girl Weekend
  • If You Want to Try Haiku…
  • 107 Lunes
  • Self-Defense Against Fruit‽

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Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Hours
Tuesday—Saturday: ∞ AM—∞ PM
Sunday & Monday: CLOSED

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